the naked truth

Dear friends,

So we just came back from the mountains - pure white bliss for one week thanks to Alex's family as they have a sweet chalet in Valais...I had a bad cold and was sick as can be, but the smile on the kids at the end of a day of skiing was worth it. My brother Eddie and nephew Carlo were there like 3 year olds new to so much snow and discovery of snowboarding.

On our return our cat minuit gave us a warm meowwwww welcome (thanks Kath for the cat-sitting, again!).  Home sweet home.

There was a letter from NKI and my heart started racing, it was for my first anesthesiologist appointment before the surgery to harvest the TILs so I was excited to get started - BUT I was actually expected to be at the hospital last week! so anyways, had to contact them to re-schedule the whole thing...since it is holidays the whole week in the Netherlands I suspect I will not hear anything until next week.

My friend Ilios Kotsou has organized a fundraising mailing to a big list of family/friends/collagues as of yesterday to help us afford the whole thing - you must have all received the email by now. He just makes it all seem so easy...like of course this is how things should be.

I am very touched by all the emails and messages and suggestions of how you can help us. It is so hard for me to step into this place as "asking for help" as I feel naked, bare, kind of just standing there saying "yes we need help for this, cannot do it alone". In my mums' side of the family (the Angulos')  they often talk about the pride of being able to do everything alone, never cry, never complaint. I guess I have a bit of that (though my mum says I was a cry baby).

But I must admit today I just have a feeling of incredible trust of what is, and this is exhilarating. To think and feel that "it" might be possible to extend my life, that yes maybe I could still enjoy a longer life with my loved ones of not just months but years, and that WE are actually co-creating this possibility. My faculty and colleagues at SBS-EM had already held my hand when I went to the last trial in the US and I was just taken aback by the wave of love and generosity to help me face those costs. It almost feels like we cannot hold all of that love but we are actually pretty stretchy and you know what? actually all the love fits right in...

Will keep you posted