One of my best friends in Australia had serious brain surgery and pulled through (with hearing loss and facial muscle damage) but she is alive and kicking and holding her 2 little ones close to her....another dear friend in Switzerland had to go through the horror of having her 10 year old fall through the first floor window while she was on a play date (3.5m high!) and she survived with just a wrist fracture. Another dear friend in Belgium sadly lost her father to a heart attack, he was one of the first persons who supported the fundraise for my treatment. I never got to meet him.
Thank you life for reminding me that we are just a small thread in the tapestry.
You should know that ONLY thanks to hundreds of donations from friends, family and complete strangers we were able to make the first financial deposit to the hospital that allowed us to get the treatment started. This past weekend over 300 people gathered in a full on latin party to raise funds (all organized by family and family friends), everyone gave, their time, the food, the musicians, every single detail of the party...the theme "butterflies", which has very special meaning to me and my mother.
Thank you life for allowing me to experience different dimensions of generosity. Generosity is not just the act of giving....or receiving, but of how and why you give and allowing yourself to receive and so on...
After the leuka we drove down to Switzerland to have a week off. The kids were ready and then pampered by their godfather/godmother, but Alex and I were just so exhausted that we were just "off" and thus our initial impetus of finding a nice place near the lake or even drive down somewhere warmer to be childless was easily blown by the wind. We were lucky that we fell into the hands of fantastic friends who very gently and slowly convinced us to stay one night, then maybe stay for lunch and another night and so went the week...I was actually having my first lesson dealing with neuropathic pain so I am so glad both of these friends are MDs...Their warmth, food, loving care and just presence filled us with what we needed right at that moment.
So on confirmation of my oncologist I started new meds on tuesday that made me real dopey (LYRICA anyone?) but allowed me to feel normal by thursday - but I went through dark clouds as the pain was really intense and the tumors are growing pressing on nerves.
What a humbling experience when I think of my dear friend Quentin Van Daele who became a master of living life with pain often as a visitor who tended to overstay. Yet he would always tell me to remember that it was worth it, as each day had a gift, a lesson, and as long as he could "relate" it was fully worth it. He left this earthly world now but his presence and essence are with me fully.
Thank you Quentin. I am still learning from you.
Now I sit at the NKI hospital ward 4B, I can see the sun still though it is almost 8pm, and the sky and clouds and some birds...I can hear the wind, but sadly see no greens apart from the paint color of the buildings. Chemo day one started this morning without any fuss, very smoothly and efficiently I came into my room unpacked and got the needle in place by a great nurse. I was visited by a whole court of nurses, Drs, etc and had the luxury of having my dear friend Brigitte Maskens with me to hold me centered doing the Resseguier method. WHAT A GIFT!!!! Let me tell you I am no wooz but right after the chemo I felt like a truck hit me for about a hour, then a bit drowsy and typing this has taken a bit longer than normal but I am ok! You wonder too how much "chemistry" can go into your body (taking 4 different antibiotics, 2 pain pills, stomach protector, etc) so there goes day 1....
Thank you life for another day fully lived and for all of you who lived it with me.
If the Druids were to look at the skies from where I see them, they would say "The ways are clear, the rain washes all away, after the storm come the warm rays of the Sun"
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